Levitt admits double-crossing the devil

JOHANNESBURG. Auctioneer Rael Levitt has denied allegations that he sold his mother to a middle-eastern tycoon in order to secure start up funding for his company Auction Alliance.

 

A spokesperson for the auctioneer, Rusty Gavel, described the allegations as false saying Levitt’s had mom always dreamed of exploring Iran as a local and not as a tourist.

Speaking from the company money laundry, Gavel stressed that there had been nothing suspicious about the arrangement, saying it was a common and widely accepted practice for money-hungry sons to advertise their mothers on eBay.

 

Asked if Levitt had gone so far as to sell his soul to the devil, Gavel laughed and said, “Funny you should mention that.”

He said there had been an occasion when a young Levitt had met a strange man in an anorak at a crossroad.

“They started to haggle over a price for Levitt’s soul, but Rael felt he was worth more than two strawberry Steri-Stumpies, untold wealth and the CD of Fiddler on the Roof.”

Gavel said it was at that point that Levitt asked a friend to represent him in the soul auction, a process known in the industry as ‘vendor bidding’.

 

“In the end he thought that he dodged a bullet because he priced Lucifer out of the market and ended up buying his own soul,” said Gavel, who added, “But now we are finding out that nobody double-crosses the devil and gets away with it.”

Asked to comment on the alleged backhanders that were paid in cash to bank employees, lawyers and other people who were meant to be looking after their client’s interests, Gavel said such payments were as common in the auction industry as they were in other spheres of business.

 

Pushed for an example Gavel paused for a moment and then said, “Lap dancing. You know, the girl works for the club but she ‘looks after’ you, so you give her some money and she gives you more ‘attention’.”

“Or like when you give a traffic cop some money and your fine disappears. It’s standard practice and the onus rests with the cop to declare the money to his superiors and to process it through the correct channels.”

Meanwhile a spokesperson for Hayibo.com said the site was hopeful that Levitt would follow a similar course of action to the one he followed on the weekend, when he threw large sums of money at the weekend papers that sought to write about his dealings.

 

“We’ve got plenty of space available for purchase,” he said, “And we’ll keep writing about Auction Alliance as long as they help pay the bills.

 

http://www.hayibo.com/levitt-admits-double-crossing-devil-in-an-auction-for-his-soul/