Last memory of Vodacoms meerkat mascot finally erased from public consciousness

JOHANNESBURG. After three years of covert counter-marketing operations and a complete corporate rebranding, Vodacom confirmed late Thursday that all memory of the company’s vilified former mascot, Maurice ‘Mo’ the Meerkat, had finally been erased from the public consciousness.

 

“It’s like he never existed at all, which was pretty much our best-case outcome scenario” said a spokesperson. “So I think that’s mission accomplished.”

According to Vodacom marketing manager, Hysteria McHoopla, the very last memory of Maurice belonged to Tyrone Naidoo (28) of Durban, who reported waking up Thursday morning from a dimly recalled nightmare involving “some kind of pervy chipmunk or squirrel or something, I don’t remember now, it’s fading fast, thank God”.

 

After a three-hour evaluation by Vodacom’s psychiatric team on Thursday afternoon, it was determined that Naidoo had no remaining memory of Maurice whatsoever, as he was responding neutrally to flashcards of a variety of small furry mammals in bow ties, an MP3 loop of Hot Chocolate’s “You Sexy Thing”, and amateur 3D videos on YouTube.

 

“It was an emotional moment for all of us,” said McHoopla. “One of the interns actually cried. It’s just been this tremendous burden of responsibility we’ve all carried with us, and it’s finally been lifted. I feel cleansed of a terrible evil.”

The mascot, which has been described by critics as “the kakkest local thing since those fish-flavoured chips”, originally aired back in 2006 to almost instant notoriety among consumers.

“At the time, we kind of thought we could save the core concept by dressing him up in a Hawaiian shirt, but I guess the ‘turd in ribbons’ principle applied there too,” explained McHoopla. “And honestly, ‘shit’ doesn’t even begin to describe the campaign.”

 

Staff will be celebrating this weekend with the symbolic hanging of an inflatable Maurice-branded lilo at Vodacom’s head office in Midrand.

“We’ve got an entire warehouse filled with crates of promotional toys, t-shirts, and novelty items that we’ll never get rid of,” said McHoopla.

“We’ll have to nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure. If the local kids managed to get their hands on this stuff, we’d never get rid of him. I mean, why do you think McDonald’s still has a paedophile as its mascot? They’re stuck with that guy forever because of those Happy Meal toys.”

(Hayibo.com)