Introducing "Alpha Nail," nail polish for men that's 100 percent heterosexual

Nail polish for men! The makers of Alpha Nail nail polish (like alpha male, get it?) are trying to convince men that it's cool to paint their nails like women do. They do this by referring to their product as "war paint" and "armor," instead of what it actually is,"A silly thing to do." Guys it is not cool to paint your nails. There is a lot of silly stuff going on in the month of November with guys trying to grow moustaches and so on but please don't go overboard and start painting your nails. Having said that Alpha Nail have put together quite an ntense marketing campaign.

As you can see on their unspeakably hilarious website ,which features a slideshow of men wearing nail polish in shades typically reserved for little girls while trying very hard not to look like models for a homosexual dating service including an MMA enthusiast clearly abducting two women with the word "SEX" written in the air next to him.

Alpha Nail is available in colors such as Smoke,Concrete, Burnin' Rubber, Benjamins and Cocaine, which all sound like code names from G.I. Joe's male stripper division. A statement on their website reads: "Designed specifically for men, Alpha Nail is technologically and biologically superior to anything on the market.Formulated with both Citral and Ginseng to strengthen and invigorate the nails down to the beds, our formula keeps nails harder and healthier." Here's one of the promotional videos.