Celebrating Steak and BJ day

A friendly reminder that today is Steak and Blowjob Day. . March 14th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and self explanatory. Men work extremely hard to satisfy their lovers on Valentine's Day (and pretty much every other day of the year), so March 14th is a joyous opportunity for your significant other to repay the favour. This is a holiday that every guy should have already highlighted,circled, and placed a magnifying glass over. Unfortunately, though,as pretty much every guy out there will find out today, she won't. If however you are determined to give it a bash try this approach.

First off you need to buy a steak. It's too late to marinate it in the fridge overnight so splurge and buy a good aged steak. The point is the less work she has to do the better. Staunch Steak and BJ Day supporters will no doubt feel aggrieved at this direct approach but the point is you really have no choice. The fact is women just don't do things anymore. They get tired all the time and whine. So be a man and just get on with it.

The next step is to wait until she gets home from work and ask her if she had a good time on Valentine’s Day. Since you’re an incredibly caring significant other, of course she is going to respond “yes.” If you were a jerk and forgot about Valentine’s Day then my suggestion to you is that you are lucky to still have a girlfriend, kill the conversation immediately, cook the steak, eat the steak and then go to bed. Next year remember Valentine’s Day.

Explain to her that you’d do anything to make her happy. Immediately afterwards, let her know that you’re excited to see what she’s got planned for you for this evening.

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Chances are, she’s not going to know what you’re talking about. This is what you want: the chance explain to her about the holiday.

Start out slowly by calling it “S & BJ Day.”

Huh?

“Steak and Blowjob Day, duh.”

What?

“C’mon honey, really? Didn’t you see the steak in the fridge? I’ve got everything ready for you.”

What?

This is where you will realise you are wasting your time. Your best bet is just to cook the steak and eat it and keep dreaming.