ANC: Information Bill is widely supported

CAPE TOWN. As parliament prepares to vote on the controversial Protection of State Information bill on Tuesday, the ANC has said it is official government policy that nothing should be available for free. “So insert a state approved punch line here,” said a spokesman. “And don’t try anything funny.”

Spokesperson Sipho Goebbels said that in the new South Africa nothing was for free. “Unless it’s water, electricity or those foam-rubber peaks we hand out to buy votes,” he said. “In which case it’s not really free anyway as we are  getting your soul in exchange for basic amenities.”

He said that information was a valuable commodity that could be traded like tenders and political position. “And if we give it away for nothing then its worthless and what use will that be?

“We paid a heavy price for democracy and we damn well want to recoup some of our losses,” he added.

Goebbels went on to suggest that the bill wasn’t nearly as unpopular as it appeared, saying it was just a few small groups of ‘urban people’ who were opposed to it.

When it was pointed out to him that the only reason rural folk were not joining the opposition was because they knew nothing about the bill as they received their news via donkey, usually fourteen weeks late, Goebbels smiled and said, “Exactly. And look how happy they are as a result.

“What they don’t know can’t hurt them,” he said. “And what they don’t know, we can get away with.”

Pushed for further comment Goebbels said he was taking requests. “Anything you want me to say, I’ll say it,” he said. “You won’t be able to publish it anyway.”

He went on to suggest that a lot of time and effort had gone into ensuring that the bill ‘wasn’t really that bad’.

“And we’re not the first people to do it either,” he said. “We’re not inventing the wheel again, we are just refining it.”

When asked which wheel he was refining Goebbels said the bill was based loosely on the German propaganda machine from the 1930?s and 40?s.

“We’ve done away with killing Jews and Gypsies for now,” he said. “And we won’t be invading Russia this winter on anything. We’ve just taken the good stuff and made it our own.”

Asked if he thought that power corrupts, Goebbels said that without a doubt it did.

“Information is power and power corrupts, so in the interest of a better South Africa we have chosen to regulate the information that we make available.

“We can’t afford to have too much corruption or there won’t be enough of the good stuff to go around,” he said.

(HAYIBO.COM)