10 hilarious hidden meanings for Facebook status updates by women

Any man will admit that what he knows about women he would struggle to fill a A4 sheet of paper. The scary thing is that what most women know about themselves wouldn't fill the back of a postage stamp. This makes them pretty dangerous and us guys spend our time living in a state of heightened alertness always careful not to misunderstand or misinterpret what they say and do. No where is this more evident than on Facebook where a simple post can have hidden meanings. Women post things on Facebook in the hopes of gaining a particular reaction from their friends in the comment field or attracting the attention of men. I have listed ten of the more common posts made by women with an explanation of what she really means.

1. "I am so blessed to have the most amazing boyfriend a person could ask for. He's my true love in every sense of the word!"

"I can't believe that jerk forgot to take the trash out AGAIN.How many times do I have to remind him? So irritated, but I still want all of you to think we're blissfully happy!"

2. "Ugh. I hate Mondays. Friday can't get here fast enough."

"I am a boring person and live a dull boring meaningless life. I had absolutely nothing to say today, but I really wanted to update my status so people notice me on here, and this is the only thing could come up with."

3. "So freakin' pissed that my size 2 jeans are too tight after all I ate on vacation. Time to break out the size 4s, I guess. :("

"I am anorexic and I'm still super-skinny and I know it. And I'm going to brag about it -- because I CAN."

4. "Date night with the hubby! :)"

"While all of you are at home wiping up the food that fell off the highchair and trying for an hour to get your kids in bed, I'll be enjoying an adult dinner with plenty of wine, good conversation, and zero interruptions. Suckas!!"

5. "Just finished a 7km run, and I feel ah-mazing!"

"Why are you all ignoring me. Please congratulate me!"

6. "Life is what you make of it, and you alone have the power to change it. (Or any other motivational quote)."

"I'm so unhappy with my life right now and have no idea where it's going, but maybe if I post enough of this motivational mumbo-jumbo crap, I'll actually start to believe that I can take over the world."

7. "In T-minus 12 hours, I'll be on the beach in Mauritius drinking a pina colada and enjoying the gentle ocean breeze. I Can't Wait."

"Duh, you should totally be jealous and yes I am a complete bitch!"

8. "Wow. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse ..."

"Somebody pay attention to me on here, dammit. Somebody? Anybody? Nobody's going to ask what is going on? What is WRONG with you people?"

9. "Any comment, photo or post relating to food"

"I know how to cook please will somebody marry me."

10. "Sick hubby + two sick kids = no fun for mom."

"I may or may not be completely losing my mind, so I'd better lay the groundwork so I have an excuse to be a complete bitch to anyone I encounter this week. If you run into me and I'm either really mean or sound crazy, it's because I'm truly at my wits' end. Please just ignore me, or offer to buy me a drink."